Hey it's me again. 

So just an update about my Professional Exam 1. Guess what? I passed!!
For those who don't know, PRO exam is actually an exam that we need to pass in order to get into clinical year in USM.

Now I'm in the 5th week of 3rd year. And going to enter my first posting (Paeds) this November. Kinda excited

Okay, so back to the Pro exam. Right after we finished semester 4 exam, 3 week of study week began. I took one week off to go back home because really in need of good food, and missing home haha. So I brought some of my book in hoping I can finish few blocks, but it was just a lie. Lesson learnt: never trust yourself when you say you'll study at home.


As you can see the one with red circle, one month before PRO, I only finished reading 6 blocks out of 15 block.

So the worst time of my life started when I went back to USM, I started to push myself beyond my limit, I was so messed up at that time. But in the end I managed to finished all the blocks. The stress is on the another level, at first you were studying and the next thing you know you're crying. Constant overthinking, doubting myself whether I can pass or not. What if I failed PRO? 

It reached the point where I feel so suffocated by everything. Everyday repeat the same thing: Sleep, eat, study, literally like a zombie. I feel so tired to the point where the thought of giving up keep on popping in my head. Even my parents got scared bcs they never see me behaving like that. funny right how an exam can change you?

Constant overthinking, endless tears, sleepless night. Disaster haha

And finally it's the first day of PRO, so for the first day it was all okay. Question is answerable.

Since the lecturers said they won't repeat the topic if it's already come out in any paper. So after the first day, me and my study group went and ruled out all the topic that already came out so that it's easier to study since the second day of PRO got 2 paper which were short essay and scenario based question. So, I study based on what we already ruled out. Andddd, the interesting part was the moment I open the exam paper, I knew I'm screwed up. HAHAHA none of the things I study night before came out for essay. So I had to depend on my long term memory to answer all the essays. I was praying so hard hoping that I'll pass my theory paper. Another lesson learnt: Just read everything, don't pandai2 go target question. 

And the last 2 days was OSCE exam. and tbh, OSCE is always my weakness bcs I get nervous easily especially when that station is an interactive session. When I get nervous, I'll say "erm" and "so sorry Dr" a lot. But surprisingly I didnt do that, I get nervous but it's not that obvious except for the community medicine station, where I have to advise a patient to stop smoking. Didn't read about that topics, and just asked the patient whatever I remember. Pretty sure I failed that station. xD

Finally PRO exam finished. We had 2 days of holiday before the result came out. So, the day after PRO, I think I slept for almost 10 hours. Compensate the sleep that I lost during study week, hahaha. 

And around afternoon, that feeling when some of your friends already knew their result bcs their mentor told them their result before the announcement. Overthinking + anxiety kicked in, great combination right? hahaha it sucks. So we went to the lecture hall to wait for the Dean, Dean started to announce the result according to name of those who pass. Those who didnt pass, their name wont get call. So the moment I heard my name, I cried AGAIN. xD but this time was the tears of happiness.

I'm so glad my parents are always very supportive. They didn't give me pressure or push me to get the best result, as long as I passed then it's enough for them. My mom sent me this quote during study week bcs I always called them saying I don't have the confident to pass PRO, what if I get kick out of medical school and etc "We have strength when we doing the things that possible, and we need faith when doing things we think or seems impossible." simple quote but somehow it motivate me to work harder. So always have faith in God and yourself, just do your best and let God do the rest.

Hands down, PRO 1 is one of the hardest exam I've ever sit for. Very thankful for friends and family for giving me endless support. And thanks God for answering my prayer.